It’s been a long and rainy week, and I decided to cheer myself up by discussing one of my all time favorite topics, the female orgasm. The female orgasm is an enigmatic character – I’m in the middle of reading an entire book on the topic so steel yourselves for many future posts about it. There are a lot of scientific questions that have yet to be answered about the female orgasm: does it have an evolutionary purpose? Why can we do it? Why is it so difficult to achieve for some women and so easy for others? Why do some women orgasm when they brush their teeth (true story)? But my personal favorite female orgasm question (one that science hasn’t even tried to approach) is what does it feel like? If you asked science, it would probably get flustered and blush and say something like, “well, um, hrrmph, eh, here’s a graph of a woman’s blood pressure during coitus:”
Thanks for nothing, science, you big nerd. Here’s the reference for those interested.
Fortunately you didn’t ask science, you asked me. I know you didn’t actually ask, but don’t worry. You don’t have to. I’m here to tell you what my personal orgasm feels like, or at least a vague average of my various types of orgasm. I obviously can’t speak for all women, so hopefully we’ll get some alternate accounts going in the comments.
For me, an orgasm starts before it actually starts. There’s this stretch of time before it actually happens (and how long it lasts depends largely upon the context of the orgasm) when I realize for sure that it’s going to happen. It’s like this fuzzy warm tingle that starts in my toes. When my toes get into it, I know it’s a done deal. After that it feels like I’m coasting in this super sensitive and awesome state where my whole body is simultaneously tense and relaxed (in reality I know it’s pretty tense, but a good tense). Sometimes this stage can last a while (especially with a partner) and I think it probably feels frustrating for him, but it feels great for me. My breathing is always what signifies the orgasm is arriving. My breathing starts feeling like I just ran a race – like my lungs are tired. I hold my breath a lot. Then the actual orgasm starts down below and travels in a wave all the way up to my head. I wouldn’t describe it as an explosion, though I’ve heard that before. It’s more like a powerful wave of blankness. The orgasm itself feels good, but not as good as the before and after stages because it’s kind of like being knocked out for a bit. Then I come-to (so to speak) in what has to be the most relaxed and happy state ever. Sexology research suggests that while men feel sleepy after orgasm, women actually feel more energized. Even though I can carry on with my day after an orgasm, I think ideally I would always fall asleep. I just want to lie down on a pile of pillows or something. I know this isn’t going to make any sense, but seriously after I orgasm it’s like my lungs feel happy. As though I’ve been breathing a lot of brisk fresh air.
I definitely have a variety of orgasm types though. It depends upon what’s going on – some are more powerful, some are like baby orgasms. Sometimes my mind isn’t really into it and I have a physiological orgasm without the blank ecstasy that accompanies a real one. That’s always so annoying – it’ll happen sometimes if a car alarm goes off or a dog starts barking at just the wrong moment.
Any of this sound familiar to you women out there? What about you, guys? I know it’s not Sex Question Monday, but I feel like this is fun to discuss.