Today’s reader question is as follows: Do women have an equivalent to “morning wood?”
This is some intimidating morning wood. Or anytime wood, really.
I did a little R-rated Googling and was only able to come up with pretty offensive and ignorant chat-room answers. Questions like “How could a woman possibly get a hard on???” kept resurfacing. Yes, the female anatomy is different from the male anatomy. For a lot of women, the clitoris doesn’t stand at attention first thing in the morning like some overzealous British Royal Guard. But that doesn’t mean that women don’t get “erections,” so to speak, in the form of blood rushing to the clitoris and the labia. It also doesn’t mean that women don’t get horny in the morning.
In the face of a dearth of actual evidence, I guess I’ll have to be anecdotal with this. I think many women (at least many of the women I’ve spoken to, and also myself) enjoy sex in the morning. Generally it doesn’t happen the way that “morning wood” does, where a man wakes up to a raging boner that he had no idea was in the works and watches helplessly as it strains toward the person sleeping peacefully next to him. I’ve never had the experience in which I’ve woken up next to someone and my hips have been pressed up against him without my knowledge. However, usually if I go to sleep with someone that I like, I’m going to want to fool around in the morning.
This might just be me (and I’d be curious to see what other people think) but my version of morning wood is way more psychological. When I wake up next to someone that I want to sleep with, I’m not necessarily physically horny but I’m mentally horny. Morning sex is a special type of thing. The veneer of a romantic night (or the goggles of a drunken night) have worn off. Light is coming through the window (unless you live in some shoebox in Manhattan, in which case the light of your neighbor’s television is coming through your window). Things are different in the morning. Random hookups happen a lot at night, but there’s a distinction in the morning. If I wake up next to someone I like and neither of us have somewhere to be, I have what I would dub an “expectation of morning wood.” No matter how I feel when I wake up, I am going to be planning to hook up.
So I don’t know. From what I understand of boners, they are oftentimes not under control. I will say that my experience as a woman has been that it is a rare moment when I am horny without my express interest in being horny. I usually have to get myself horny in order to be horny. It doesn’t tend to sneak up on me, although I do have fluctuations in the amount of time that I spend thinking about or wanting sexy times, which I am told is a result of the hormonal fluctuations associated with my menstrual cycle. Yay.
“I read somewhere that periods attract bears.”
This isn’t a very concise or perhaps even helpful answer to this question, but I personally don’t think “morning wood” exists in the same sort of “ohhh man uh oh I just woke up and lookie here!!” type of way for women. Instead if I know when I go to sleep that there’s a good chance I’ll have an opportunity to get some in the morning, I’ll wake up with a morning objective. And then my body follows suit.